THERAPY IS NOT MYSTERIOUS
Learn how it works below, from Dr. Camu of Fuel Centers Carlsbad, Anxiety Experts.
Feeling Better is What You Want.
Contentment, satisfaction, pleasure. Generally speaking we all want these feelings. We strive for them; across gender, culture and regardless of the nature or our problems. Yet curiously, a host of factors—both in our minds and from the outside world—create obstructions to our feeling great.
We are full with obvious contradictions. You may like to think of yourself as smart and strong and you probably are, so why do you avoid conflict? Or if you are likable, why are you afraid of a new social situation or public speaking. If you are generally able to solve problems, why do you worry so much? Do you worry for no reason? Did you know that for most of the above concerns, your mind is trying to motivate you? Your therapist could teach you why.
These problems can start from the outside, but when they become internal problems they can haunt you and destroy your quality of life.
What Can Your Therapist Do?
“Did you know that therapists are required to have their own therapy? We are forced to learn about ourselves before we are charged with helping others. I have treated psychologists, psychiatrists, students and many others.”
Dr. Camu, Fuel Centers Carlsbad, Anxiety Specialists.
A good therapist through training, education and supervised experience can help you in two different ways. Through talking about the things that trouble you, your therapist may offer you immediate tools that you can use to feel better. For example if you are an impulsive person who makes emotional decisions, you may learn to use more of your logical strengths.
But sometimes you may have already learned these skills or naturally use them. For example, using physical exercise to help you sleep. When this is the case, you need a more comprehensive understanding of your problems to make changes that last, and yes it can take time.
Here is an example:
Micah came to see me for problems with sleep, relationship difficulties, and occasional panic attacks. After 4 visits Micah questioned my intelligence as I was unable to solve his problems, which would be unacceptable in medicine. Micah was in medical school earning almost perfect marks but rarely studied. Talking about his studies, Micah was quite convinced that he was one of the most intelligent in his classes—in fact he talked about this often. So what was it that was causing Micah’s panic attacks and problems—he didn’t know. I proposed that Micah didn’t study because when he occasionally earned a lower grade, he had an obvious excuse; he didn’t study. Maybe he wasn’t so smart. It turns out that Micah was terrified that he was not intelligent. When he faced this fear he ascertained that he was indeed smart, but objectively not as bright as others. In truth, Micah accepted that he was not as intelligent as some of his peers and certainly could not match his genius father (famous attorney). It was very hurtful. But his panic attacks vanished and he slept through the night. We continued to work on how he hid problems from himself. Hiding them made them worse. Facing problems sometimes hurt, but he made lasting improvements that changed his life forever.
So how long does it take? — I don’t want to be in therapy forever…
Your therapist should tell you how long it could take. Of course, who wants to spend their life in therapy when they could be living instead. And therapy can be expensive. But remember, you have been alive growing, cultivating, and gathering experiences for years and years. You then allow your therapist 45-50 minutes to understand, solve, and fix your problems and send you on your way—if it were that easy you would have done it yourself. Be respectful of yourself and your intelligence.
Wanting to leave therapy is normal. Therapy is not a battle of wits, but in my experience, all successful outcomes have included a period of wanting to quit therapy. Those that continue have emerged to be not only happier and healthier, but are often earning more financially because of it. ALWAYS bring up your feelings about therapy, both positive and negative. Most of the time it can be ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT parts of therapy.
Did I Answer Your Questions?
If not, email me directly: Dr.Camu@FuelForEmotionalHealth.com
Fuel-Centers Specializing in Anxiety, Carlsbad and Foothill Ranch, CA